Perfectionism, Part I

Viewing things as either right or wrong, good or bad, no gray area.

Examples: “If I don’t get an A on this test, I’m not smart enough to be a Chemistry major.” “If I eat one cookie, I may as well eat the whole bag.”

Having standards that are nearly impossible to reach.

Examples: “I should never forget anyone’s name.” “I should earn an A on everything.”

Focusing on the negative and filtering out the positive.

Examples: Focusing on the one negative comment your professor made about your paper, despite the fact that there were numerous positive comments and you received an “A.”

Believing that you know what others are thinking without concrete evidence.

Example: Assuming that your boyfriend is losing interest in you because he seemed distracted during dinner last night.

Overestimating the likelihood of a negative event occurring.

Example: You have never received less than a B on a test and yet every time you take a test, you are certain you are going to fail.

Paying too much attention to detail and losing sight of the big picture.

Examples: You spend so much time making a to do list that you never get to the items on the list. Before making even a small purchase, you spend many hours researching.

Being overly concerned about the opinions of others.

Examples: “”It is very important that everyone likes me.” “It is very important not to make mistakes so that others will approve of me.”

Believing that you could not cope if a negative event were to occur.

Examples: “It would be terrible if my classmates noticed that I was nervous during my class presentation.” “I couldn’t handle making a mistake in front of the class.”

Believing that you have more responsibility for or control over events than you actually do.

Example: “If I am extremely careful, then no one will ever be angry with me.”

Rigid rules about how things ought to be.

Examples: “I should never eat anything fattening.” “I should never make an error in an e-mail.” “I should practice the piano every day.”

Comparing yourself to others who are stronger in a particular dimension.

Examples: Comparing your running ability to that of an Olympic marathoner. Comparing your appearance to that of a supermodel.

Performing a behavior in an excessive manner to try to ensure nothing goes wrong.

Example: Leaving an hour early for a doctor’s appointment, even though the trip only takes 10 minutes.

Checking and/or seeking reassurance from others that a task has been done well enough or that a standard is met.

Example: Repeatedly checking with people to make sure you have not offended them.

Going to great lengths to correct behavior (yours or others) even if the consequences of not doing so are trivial.

Example: Feeling that you must repeat yourself to make absolutely certain that you have been understood.

Spending so much time getting organized that it interferes with getting tasks completed.

Example: Spending so much time making to-do lists that you never get to the items on the list.

Difficulty making a decision for fear of making a potentially terrible mistake.

Example: Spending hours choosing a movie to rent for fear that you will choose a “bad” one.

Putting off doing things for fear of not meeting standards.

Example: Not responding to any of your e-mails because you are waiting until you have time to write a witty and insightful response.

Avoiding doing something altogether for fear of not meeting standards.

Example: Not taking up a hobby that interests you for fear that you will not excel in it.

Taking too long to accomplish something because of perfectionistic behaviors (procrastination, checking, repeating).

Example: Taking hours to get ready to go out with your friends because of changing clothes or reapplying make-up.

Continuing with a task much longer than is productive.

Examples: Spending an hour looking for a lost grocery list, rather than taking 5 minutes to recreate the list. Spending too much time on a test item that has you stumped and not having enough time to finish the test.

Giving up for fear of not being able to meet a standard.

Example: Quit studying Spanish because you are not fluent in the language after one semester.

Doing everything yourself because you do not trust others to complete tasks correctly.

Example: Always volunteering to write up your group’s project for fear that the work will not be done properly otherwise.

Keeping worthless items for fear that you may need them some day.

Example: Saving every magazine you have ever purchased because you think you might want to refer back to an article.

Attempting to get others to conform to your standards.

Example: Insisting that your roommate load the dishwasher “your” way.